Reasoning Through Irrational Fear Is Not Easy

One feature of my house that I love is the back porch, but it isn't quite ready to enjoy. My porch is all bones. It needs to be scrubbed, painted, and screened in. While I was inspecting the porch this morning to get a sense for the work I need to do in the coming weeks, I found about a dozen spider nests tucked into the corners of the porch. Oh horror! They are ready to burst.


In theory, I like spiders. They catch other jerks like mosquitos. But I don't want to find them in my house. Ask my husband Sam - he will tell you that I like my fair share of bugs, especially earthworms. It's not me, it's the spiders. My dad tells this story about stomping on a spider nest on his back porch when he was a boy. Hundreds of baby spiders went running up his legs. He might exaggerate a bit, but needless to say I have never wanted to find out by experience.

Maybe the spiders have already hatched and the problem is moot, but for now I assume they are planning to emerge and I am trying to work up the courage to remove these babies. The nests are creepier than the spiders!